The Road Not Taken

Occasionally, I watch electrical engineering lectures on YouTube. The handsome instructor, who is about the same age as my children, explains difficult topics so easily that I can understand them effortlessly, even when I listen infrequently. Recently, I listened to a lecture on fundamental electrical engineering laws such as Kirchhoff's Law, Ampere's Law, Coulomb's Law, Fleming's Law, and the Biot-Savart Law. It reminded me of the electromagnetic and circuit theory classes I took in college over 50 years ago. These two subjects are very basic and essential; without studying them, one cannot advance to other major subjects.

 

After graduating from college, I happened to read an article about the reading habits of our ancestors. The number of books they read could be counted on one hand. They would read these few books repeatedly, sometimes memorizing them entirely. These books served as guides throughout their lives. The part where it said some people read the Four Books and Three Classics hundreds, even thousands of times, left a deep impression on me. After reading this, I resolved to read at least the two essential books on electromagnetic theory and circuit theory 100 times each. I made a determined plan to draw 20 sets of five lines inside the book covers, marking each reading. I then envisioned my future life as an engineer after completing my military service.

 

Naturally, I got a job at an electronics company, which was considered one of the best at the time. I expected to be assigned to a production department in the provinces, but unexpectedly, I was assigned to an office in Seoul, leaving me puzzled. What kind of work would an engineer do pushing a pen? My main tasks were analyzing and translating patent specifications written in English and Japanese and responding to patent disputes. The subjects I studied in college were useful only when analyzing circuit diagrams in patent specifications; most of my work involved English, Japanese, and laws related to patents, designs, and trademarks, which made me question whether this was truly an engineer's job. Feeling that my college major had become useless, I felt empty. Nevertheless, the privilege of working in Seoul, a substantial salary, and the pride of working for a top-tier company helped me adapt to my job without major complaints.

 

Several years later, after moving to another department, I was assigned to the United States as a resident officer. While packing, I found some old college textbooks and reflected on the path I didn’t take as an engineer, wearing a tie instead of work clothes. I came across my textbooks on electromagnetic theory and circuit theory. Remembering my resolution to read them 100 times, I opened the covers only to find a single "下" mark (meaning "below" in Korean, used here to count in threes) instead of multiple "正" marks (used to count in sets of five). Although these books had become obsolete, the 97 unread times weighed on my mind. Reluctant to throw them away, I left them in my brother's attic, where 40 years have since passed. Though I haven't asked about them, I assume they were discarded when he built a new house. Thinking of those books waiting in vain for their owner, only to be abandoned, I feel a pang of guilt.

 

Sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like had I walked the true path of an engineer. Perhaps it’s the lingering regret of a path not taken. A few years ago, I bought a calculus book but gave up before finishing it. I hesitated several times to buy circuit theory and electromagnetic books on eBay but eventually abandoned the idea. These untrodden paths still tempt me, but it’s too late now. The song "What About My Age" can only resonate in lyrics, not reality.

 

I recall an article I read in a newspaper about a truck driver. He had been a successful dentist but became disillusioned with looking into patients' mouths daily and switched to driving a truck. Although his income dropped to a third of his previous earnings, he found happiness in the freedom of his new life. Then there’s Thomas Quasthoff, born with severe disabilities but became a renowned opera singer after leaving a stable career as a lawyer. I envy these people. They explored both paths and chose the one that made them happy.

 

But would my life have been happier if I had chosen a different path? I don’t know. No one does. Isn’t that what life is all about? That’s why Robert Frost's poem "The Road Not Taken" is so beloved. (In part) Somewhere ages and ages hence, / I shall be telling this with a sigh. / Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— / I took the one less traveled by, / And that has made all the difference.

 

June 7, 2020