The longing of my youth, what has become of it?

I enjoy buying used books. Purchasing used Korean books in the United States can be challenging, but English books can be purchased very inexpensively online. Books priced at less than a dollar abound, and even older novels can be found for just a penny.There's a sense of triumph in buying the book you desire at a low cost, even if you don't end up reading it all the way through. Just a few weeks ago, I bought a novel titled "How Green Was My Valley" on the internet for a mere 98 cents. The reason was my deep impression of the movie with the same title; I wanted to read the original. Although the novel, published in 1939, contained many unfamiliar colloquial words and unique expressions in the Welsh language, making it not easy to read, I persevered to the end, focusing on the authority of the father and the love among family members emphasized in the movie.

 

Comparing the movie and the original work always leads to a recurring realization: the two works are very different. Movies, constrained by time and expression methods, often distort the original.

 

The novel begins with the recollections of the youngest son and ends with recollections, set against the backdrop of the decline of a mining village in Wales at the end of the 19th century. Miners work hard in the coal mine to support their family, and thus, the small daily happiness of the family continues. The village is conservative, to the point that terms like "commie" naturally come up when labor strikes or union stories are mentioned.

 

It depicts the story of a large family (parents, six sons, three daughters, totaling eleven members) against the backdrop of a mining village facing economic decline at the close of an era. The sons, in their struggle over the establishment and operation of a union, sharply confront their father, damaging the authority of the head of the family. Perhaps the father might have said to his children, "The title 'father' is a term that should be backed by authority, but you do not treat me that way. So, from today, I am the owner of the boarding house. Even if you cannot acknowledge the father's authority, you must follow the rules demanded by the owner in this house."

 

The eldest son dies in a mining accident, and the other children leave one by one for the United States, Australia, Germany, New Zealand, and the South African Federation. Even the father dies in a mining accident. Many years later, the youngest son also leaves for Argentina, and the novel concludes with his words: "How green was my valley. The valley we all remember is gone."

 

I spent the past few weeks happily reading an old book with the owner's fingerprints, but after finishing the book, I felt empty. Even after flipping through the pages and re-reading here and there, I couldn't fill the void in my heart. Upon investigation, I found that the author wrote the story of this family as a four-part series. Since I was curious about the sequel to the protagonist's story, I ordered the complete edition called "Green, Green My Valley Is Now." for just one cent. Of course, there is additional shipping cost, but it's practically free. Critics say that the sequel lacks structure and fails to move as much as the previous part, but so what? As long as there is a book in my hands to read, that's enough. Even if the content is not fresh, there is no harm in having bought a cheap book.

 

I was so absorbed in reading the book that tells the story of a large family that today, in the early morning, I dreamed of a relative I had forgotten for a long time. In the dream, I was a college student, enjoying my time with the family and feeling regretful when I woke up. I woke up earlier than usual, made coffee, and while sipping it, I recalled the memories of visiting that relative's house a long time ago.

 

About 40 years ago, when I was in my twenties, I went to Gangneung city to undergo a physical examination for military service. At that time, there was a designated examination site set by the Military Manpower Administration. At that time, it was a time when it was not easy to find a place to stay other than the designated place. Fortunately, around that time, there was a pretext for attending the grandfather's sixtieth birthday party, so I was able to stay comfortably at that relative's house, which I rarely visited. The family warmly welcomed me, and the festive scene where people from the neighborhood gathered and danced and sang until late at night is still vivid in my memory.

 

The relative, who  was a cousin of my grandfather, worked as a senior official in a public enterprise and retired. He also had plenty of inherited property, so he lived a peaceful life with whispers of the land from time to time. However, being the head of a large family, with nine daughters and one son, it wouldn't have been easy. Even if worries about the daughters who had already left were somewhat relieved, thinking about the young son who was lavishly loved despite being the youngest must have always been a concern. The relative and his wife and their son and daughters, who warmly welcomed me whenever I happened to visit. Although I haven't met them for a long time, I can't know how they are doing. Now that I am older than the grandfather at that time, time really passes like flowing water.

 

The concluding part of the four-part novel, "Green, Green My Valley Is Now," tells the story of the protagonist amassing a fortune in Argentina and permanently returning to his hometown. When he looks for the hometown, he finds that the mountain that was deserted by coal mine development has become lush with trees, and the polluted valley has fish jumping around again. However, the place I found on the internet today, which was once a beautiful village nestled in front of a mountain where pine trees grew not far from the river, is now filled with large apartment complexes, so there seems to be no way to find traces of the past. Since the wind of development would have shaved off the mountain, the pine trees would have all disappeared, but I wonder if salmon are still coming up in the river next to the village.

 

The four-part novel of my life is likely to conclude with a passage from the song 'Recollection,' sung by Twin Folio a long time ago. "Where did my childhood dreams go? What is the longing of my young days? If I turn around now, can I find it? The time that has passed."

 

(March 19, 2013)